I Want To Take My Own Virginity

Fri, 11/25/2011 - 12:13
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I just first off want to say that ever since I discovered yours and Carlin Ross's youtube videos, and then your website, you have educated me so much and also made me feel way more comfortable with myself. Thank you so much! You two are such badass women!

Alright, now to the nitty gritty. I am a 19 year old woman, and I am a virgin and frequently masturbate. I am able to penetrate my vagina with two fingers, but three fingers starts to hurt a bit. I read an article posted on your website about a woman who took her own virginity. Everything she said made sense to me and I knew that's what I wanted to do. I also feel that I will be too small for a guy to fully penetrate me on my first time. So I wanted to experience the pain and everything with myself first.

I was using my curling iron as a dildo. Turned off of course :) With a tape measure, I measured all the way around the curling iron, and it was 5 inches. I was able to get it in around 3 inches deep without a problem or any pain, but then it felt like I hit a wall, so to speak, and if I pushed any more, I wasn't getting it in any further and it really hurt. It felt like I literally couldn't push it in any farther. I tried holding and pushing it in at different angles, and also wiggling it around a bit, but nothing seemed to work. This was the first time I have ever been penetrated with something this size, so could it be that I was just really tensing up and not comfortable, or was I doing it wrong, or something else? Thank you so much for reading this.


Dear R,

Instead of using your curling iron, why not carve a dildo from zucchini or a carrot preferably organic? Start small and gradually increase the size. I don't recommend doing vaginal penetration without first getting turned on with clitoral stimulation. Also be sure to use additional lubrication like massage oil or cocoanut oil. Since most women do not come from vaginal penetration alone, always focus on your primary sex organ for pleasure, the clitoris. Pain is always a sign that you are doing something wrong so STOP. While you are practicing penetration, be sure to have your orgasms in place. Eventually the combination of both clit stim and vaginal penetration will create some very nice happy orgasms.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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I don't think you're aroused enough

Sat, 11/26/2011 - 18:41
Elin A (not verified)

I strongly advice against using your curling iron as a dildo. It most likely has chemicals from hair products all over it, which probably is bad for the health of your vagina.

In my experience, even penetration from a small object can hurt if you're not excited enough, and I suspect this is why many women experience pain during intercourse the first times, not because of the hymen per say.

Try an expement: give yourself an orgasm first and see if you can "fit" more fingers during and right after your orgasm. I bet that your vagina will be much more open and "stretchy". The "wall" you experience is also probably due to lack of excitement. When you're properly aroused, the cervix pulls back and the vagina becomes deeper. If you're not all that aroused and try to push something deep, you will hit a wall and it will hurt. This is simply because your body has not prepared itself for penetration yet.

So I bet you're experimenting without being properly aroused. I'd listen to Dr. Dodsons advice and focus on learning to orgasm through stimulating your clit, as this will better help you get better in touch with your sexual arousal. A good thing to do as well is to practice masturbation without penetration and really try to feel when, and if, you really start to feel a desire to put something in your vagina.

How much fits in your vagina isn't really important, but your pleasure and what your body wants, is.

Perhaps that's just the vagina?

Mon, 11/28/2011 - 00:03
Emy (not verified)