Today I read a recent post by Dan Savage entitled "Broken".
The question begins with: "I am a 23-year-old female, sexually active for seven years, and I can’t reach climax. I am extremely frustrated..."
Dan Savage quotes Tracy Clark-Flory who discusses the evolutionary 'by-product theory'. According to this theory, "the female orgasm is an evolutionary hand-me-down—or, more cynically, lukewarm leftovers".
I was wondering what you thought of this Dan Savage column and the 'by-product' theory.
Just read the entire awful thing and had to calm my rage in order to answer you. When Dan said, "Here come de science" I nearly barfed at the end of it. I like him for the most part but who is this Tracy Clark-Flory? She needs to be enlightened about female sexuality. It just so happens that women are far more sexual than men.. . we can continue having orgasm after orgasm as long as we are receiving the kind of stimulation we prefer. Easier said than done! Any one who harks back to pro-creation to explain sex ain't got no smarts. Sex is a fucking art form!
For me (and many others) my preference would be a vibrator on or near my clit (Never a Hitachi on Hi dumbbell) and a dildo (or long lasting firm dick) in my vagina that's covered with quality massage oil moving sweetly with a slow steady beat. Add to that a hot low down dirty fantasy, Oh yeah! In my youth, I was good for up to 4 hours masturbating or an evening of multiple sex partners (10 was a good number) when we had group sex back in the sixties. (Yes, Tracy and Dan, we had a sexual revolution. Sorry you missed it).
The biggest problem today with women enjoying orgasm is that they are using the male sexual model of fast arousal (dudes can be "ready" in seconds), fast friction fucking (necessary for most circumcised men) and quick orgasms (few guys have any come control)! Remember, for every pre-orgasmic woman their is a pre-mature ejaculating man! And neither one has been taught any sexual skills that might lead to pleasurable sensations!
Now add to that the fashionable G-spot that drove an entire generation of youth inside newly penetrated vaginas owned girls who had never learned how to masturbate to orgasm by playing with her clitoris and you have a pretty good picture of our youth today! Young women write to me describing the beginnings of an orgasm that they deny because they "didn't ejaculate" which is what the boy is waiting for so has proof he's made her come!
I'm sorry, but the last person to ask about women's orgasms would be a gay man and an academic woman with too many names.