Is There Any Way to Orgasm Without Touching My Clitoris Directly?

Tue, 09/06/2011 - 15:39
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I am a 26 year old woman, and I can only have clitoral orgasms, I've had them alone since I was 11, and also with my partners since I was 16, when they're patient enough to let me masturbate during slow penetration or any other moment during sex.

I never had a problem with that, but lately, I've been talking to so many women, and even seeing with my own eyes, how easy it is for them to have vaginal/g-spot orgasms (not sure it's the same?). I know it is not good for me to be comparing myself with any other women on that aspect but... I just can't help but feel like I'm missing out something really good!

I would like to know if there's anything I can do to have these orgasms without touching my clit directly... the ones where only the g-spot is stimulated, whether it is with fingers, dildos, or actual penetration. Please don't get me wrong, it's not like I think there's anything wrong with the way I cum but... I would like to be able to experience other sensations and get there through other means too! Just to enhance my pleasure.

I have heard and noticed that, a lot of women develop that "kind" of orgasm when they have full confdence and intimacy with a single partner. Well, that can be a problem for me, because I never dated and I just don't want to, I like having casual relationships only. So, is there any possible help for my case??

Thanks a lot,
Regards,
D

Dear D,

In my opinion, learning to come from g spot stimulation and squirting is a big waste of time. If it happens naturally that's fine. Many women (myself included) have not been able to come from vaginal penetration with fingers, dildos or dicks rubbing on some mysterious place inside their vaginas without some kind of direct clitoral stimulation. In my youth I could have vaginal orgasms if my partner was not circumcised but that's another discussion.

If you really feel like you are missing out on something then read Deborah Sundahl's book "The G Spot and Female Ejaculation." You can also read some of my essays about the subject but I warn you, I think it's kinda ridiculous. Recently I've had women asking me how they can stop squirting during orgasm as it's such a mess that requires more laundry.

However, if you learn how to do this yourself it's just the same as with what you are doing now, you would have to teach your partner(s) what you like. Maybe wait until you date some dude who considers himself to be a G expert. They really get off on making women leave a big wet spot, but then they aren't doing the laundry are they?

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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oh no

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 14:09

Please don't worry about how you orgasm, ladies! I love clitoral stimulation (and orgasm from it) and I love vaginal penetration so...why not combine the two! If I were to ever be with a man who refuses to give me oral and/or let me rub my sweet clit during sex because he thinks that vaginal orgasms are better, I'd give him a good lecture and send him on his way. One of my favorite things to do is masturbate in front of a man (I've done it with only one, but I still have a point) to show him how sexy and beautiful it is to watch a woman touch her clitoris and bring herself to orgasm. I suggest you do this with the hope that they stop thinking of it as a bad thing. Nothing wrong if the dick doesn't get me there. I still like it. I'm not saying vaginal orgasms are a myth (although I do think many women fake orgasms and many don't even know what one feels like so how would they know if they had one) I'm saying that what you see in porn, hear from friends and are taught by, I'm sure, well meaning lovers is probably not going to work and doesn't work for most women. Rub your clit and enjoy. Don't worry about gspot, aspot, cervical, culdesac, blah blah blah and the next "discovered" spot orgasms. I think if most women educated themselves and loved their clits, we wouldn't be having this problem anyway. I know loads of people disagree with what I'm saying.

and a couple other things

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 14:25

And I have to say that most women orgasm during sex by rubbing their clit on the man's body. They think this is a vaginal orgasm because they don't know they're rubbing anything.

Combo is the way to go.

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 19:50

I occasionally have vaginal orgasms, have lots of clitoral orgasms, and think that combining the 2 is like a little slice of heaven. I like to masturbate during partner sex as well. Not only does my husband like watching me orgasm, but he's learned how to give a really good hand job from watching me. I love his hands but his fingers are too thick and rough to give me proper clit stim without me priming myself with a couple of warm up orgasms first from my own soft and feminine hand. I also find that having a few clit/combo orgasms makes having a vaginal one easier to come by. Another thing I've noticed is that vaginal orgasms were easy to come by during my 20's but now that I'm in my 40's I need a little more help. However, now I'm happier because I just do what I want in bed and let my husband know exactly what I need. He's happier too because he doesn't have to try to read my mind.

Hi girls, I'm the same as D,

Wed, 11/16/2011 - 08:36
Brianne (not verified)

Hi girls,
I'm the same as D, I'm 28 and can only have clitoral orgasms. I have to say I absolutely love them and they've gotten more intense though the years. I love it when he's inside of me so much too but can never seem to orgasm that way although I'd love to. I'm not saying this bothers me too much but I keep thinking, like D, if I'm missing out on something more spectacular.
So could and of you ladies that can reach vaginal orgasms describe the difference between the clitoral and the vaginal orgasm? Just feeling-wise I mean. I'm really curious.
Thank you in advance!
B

An orgasm is an orgasm is an orgasm.

Betty Dodson's picture
Wed, 11/16/2011 - 11:34

Some are just better than others and no two are exactly alike. Instead of either/or (either I have a clitoral orgasm or a vaginal orgasm, when I finally combined BOTH, it was heaven! Next time your fucking with your lover, just add your own clit stim the same as you do when you masturbate. For me it's my vibrator and he can feel the good vibes too. Enjoy!

Yup

Thu, 11/17/2011 - 05:57
Brianne (not verified)

Oh sorry, of course, I forgot to mention that: that is exactly what I do every time and like I said, it feels great, so I can't really complain. I was just curious if the vaginal orgasm is more intense/long than the clitoral one - because you are actually combining the two, but I'm not having the vaginal one, I think. The orgasm feels different when he's inside of me and I add my own clit stim then when I masturbate on my own (both great). But if I was to remove my fingers from the clit the moment I feel like I'll orgasm, the gushing feeling will subside and I won't climax. Something I never let actually happen :) but I try sometimes for a moment then go: ''nah, not gonna happen'' so I prevent it by quickly putting my fingers back.
Thanks for your answer, I'm gald I found this post.

I started this thread about a

Thu, 12/29/2011 - 21:30
MR.G (not verified)

I started this thread about a year after my wife died. We had a LOT of fun with it but I realized later that many have never heard of it or if they had never realized it could produce the effects we discovered.

I'm just sharing and hoping some can enjoy it as much as we did:

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=70892

I was rubbing my clit sitting

Sat, 01/11/2014 - 03:55
melie (not verified)

I was rubbing my clit sitting on an exercise and penetrating the vag with the end of a hair brush, must have hit something right because I squirted all over best orgasam I have ever had! otherwise I have been stuck only having clit stimulated orgasams as well! 

orgasm after vulvectomy

Fri, 02/07/2014 - 16:59
halfawoman (not verified)

I am having a vulvectomy in a couple of weeks and my clitoris will be gone. I am told I can still orgasm vaginally. Since I have never done this, is there anyway to train myself to orgasm vaginally, or am I doomed to never have an orgasm again?

I Vote Yes - With Explanation

Sun, 02/16/2014 - 20:23

Dear Halfawoman,

I'm so sorry you picked that ID name, you are a complete woman no matter what is removed!

May I first state that I am no physician, but have quite a bit of extensive medical knowledge. I would hope that you had several opinions before agreeing to this surgical procedure. Next, if absolutely necessary, I would ask them to be specific of how much clitoral tissue is anticipated for removal. There is much misinformation about the structure, placement, and size of the complete clitoral legs that branch off and line the vaginal walls. Many woman can have what is termed a "vaginal" orgasm by stimulation of the vagina only. There seems to be two schools of thought. One seems to be focused on believing the vagina itself has enough nerve endings to produce an orgasmic response. The second believes that their orgasm within the vagina is actually an indirect stimulation of clitoral tissue.

Personally, all my orgasms have been from direct external clitoral stimulation. However, I did have what cloud be considered a vaginal orgasm, but only once. That was produced by stimulation of the inner, upper vaginal wall. It might be referenced as the popular G-spot, about three inches in. Now, I personally believe that it was indirect clitoral stimulation. It has never occurred since and it felt very different from a clitoral orgasm. Had I not known about the inner legs of the clitoris, it could have been very easy to label it only a vaginal response. It felt deeper, lasted longer, and radiated inwards. There was no similarity whatsoever to the external types of clitoral orgasms I had been used to.

But my point is, I would guess that with a bit of practice, you could very well learn to orgasm from vaginal stimulation. I think key elements would be your still having some internal inner clitoral tissue left, being relaxed and excited, and really into getting there. I am optimistic to think yes. I have had wet dreams with an orgasm following, and all that was mental, no physical stimulation at all. Our pleasure center, the big one, is our brain! So I am rooting for you to write back and inform us of your success! And then you can train us on how to have them! :)

Best of luck to you, and hope all goes well with your surgery!

I'm the same as D but.......

Fri, 12/12/2014 - 14:20
B2014 (not verified)

I'm just like D. I Have To stimulate my clitorus for me to come doing sexual intercourse. If I don't I will never cum. However relating to ORS I have had wet dreams with an orgasm following, all was mental. No physical stimulation at all.

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