Partner Sex Feels Better When I'm on the Bottom

Thu, 09/08/2011 - 14:31
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I so admire your running the fuck concept and would love to put it into practice as you describe, but I really struggle with being on top. I used to feel quite shy about my body, but have done a lot of work to deal with those self-esteem issues. Now I enjoy being watched and the sense of power when on top.

The problem is that I've never found it feels as good when I am on top as it does when I am on the bottom. The biggest issue is the stimulation; the penetration feels completely different and I somehow never get remotely close to the same pleasure or sensations I feel on the bottom. I've tried it on partners and on dildos, plus all different positions and angles; rolling my hips; grinding my hips; thrusting and even full-on bouncing but it just never feels as good. I've even tried completely forgetting about it and coming back to it months later when I'm totally relaxed to make sure it isn't a stress-induced deprivation. The feeling of penetration on top just never equals the body shaking pleasure I always feel from penetration on the bottom. What can I do to stop missing out on this facet of my sexuality??

Thanks, Betty! You are an inspiration.

Dear S,

You might want to try reaching down and stimulating your clit with moistened fingers. Also leaning forward will change the angle of penetration. Some women really enjoy what we call "Reverse Cowgirl" when you face away from your lover. Many men enjoy this as they get to see a woman's pretty behind and women who like it can get off on being an exhibitionist. Either way, Cowgirl is just one of many positions so don't drive yourself crazy trying to make it work. Being on the bottom is after all, less work for us. And any experienced woman can "run the fuck" from the bottom just as well. Let pleasure rule!

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time