Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

 0 items

• Login
• Join

Search this site:

I'm an 18 year old girl who has been having sex for about three years with about three partners. I have never been turned on having sex with any of them, ever. It was always consensual and usually emotionally enjoyable but my body just feels numb. When I masturbate it feels good, but only for a few seconds and then the pleasure stops.

I have never had an orgasm with a guy, my hand, or a vibrator (which feels like nothing to me). The only thing I can figure out that will turn me on is the concept of a father/little girl fetish. This freaks me out. I'm not into the disciplinary, mean part of it exactly. I'm more into the taboo notion of an authority figure wanting to touch me and of being a delicate innocent little feminine thing. I love the power dynamic. I am hugely committed to equality in normal life but in bed we can't be equals. I am really uncomfortable liking this scenario. At the very least I would like to be able to awaken my sex drive to other things, or just in general something that doesn't make me seem like a freak to most men. Do you have any suggestions?

Dear G,

Your fantasy is quite universal so don't despair. It seems to me that it would not be so difficult to find a guy who will play the role of a "Daddy" who crosses the line with his "Little girl" and touches her inappropriately and the horror of it all, actually forces her to have sex with him. In the adult sex world that's called "Acting out your fantasy." In the adult sex therapy world, they would want to know if you have in some way been sexually abused. Whether it's abuse or just a fantasy is up to you to decide.

Meanwhile, I encourage you to read "How to Orgasm" and practice masturbation with yourself until you can have some really good orgasms alone. Once that's in place, you can develop all your other fantasies with like minded partners. Don't waste your time with those men who don't understand you or think you're a freak. And please do not spend time trying to please men. Once you have your own orgasms in place, things will be much easier to manage.

Dr. Betty