Need Advice on Lesbian Safe Sex

Mon, 06/20/2011 - 15:42
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi,

I want to know about the safest sexual practices I can use, besides abstention. I am lesbian, single and want to insure I'm not bringing anything home I don't want. Are gloves and dental dams the only option, besides getting everyone tested? Sucking on a dental dam is about a wonderful as sucking on a balloon and if guys think rubbers suck. They should try to use a dental dam.

Any suggestions?

Thanks,
E

Dear E,

When it comes to lesbian sex I personally don't believe we need to wear gloves or necessarily use dental dams. If your partner hasn't been tested and you have any doubts, Seran wrap is better than a rubber dam. But in that case, I'd prefer to enjoy manual sex instead. Frankly if we had to rely on dental dams it would be the end of oralsex altogether.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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Thank you, Betty

Tue, 06/21/2011 - 00:53

Always refreshing to read something more reasonable on this front.  As far as I'm concerned, dental dams are the devil (and I don't believe in the devil, so there you go).

And if you are in saran-land, an option for licking motivation could be to drizzle honey or agave or something similar on the saran wrap (ensuring you don't get it in/on the vagina, which could mess with the body's chemistry and potentially trigger yeast infection). You can get your "honeypot" even if you aren't tasting *her* honeypot. 

As for gloves, I tend to stock up when I find nitrile gloves in my size (instead of the large ones they tend to carry at hardware stores). I find them useful for household stuff, but I also keep some by the bedside because it makes for easy cleanup if anal fingerplay is part of your repertoire and you don't want to stop to wash a hand.

It's your call how much risk you're willing to take

WildOrchid's picture
Tue, 06/21/2011 - 04:02

I categorize STDs into tree groups. The Curables - like chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis. They can can be easily treated but if left alone can be dangerous (eg. 4 out of 5 chlamydia infections give no visible symptoms but can still f*-up your reproductive organs). The best defense is regular testing. 

The Deadly - HIV. HIV is most easily transmitted via blood and to a lesser degree via mucous membranes (that's why bottoming during unprotected anal is way more dangerous than during unprotected vaginal). There have been documented cases of transmission via oral sex tough I haven't been able to find if any of them were via cunnilingus. The risk is very small and therefore difficult to measure (for bottoming in anal it's 3%, vaginal 0,1%). Barriers can reduce this risk even further.

And finally The Annoying. Herpes and HPV. They are extremely common, very easy to spread and difficult to avoid (barriers help some but are not as good as with other STIs). Most people have no symptoms, some develop warts (HPV) or sores (herpes) once or more times. A small group of people infected with HPV will develop cervical, anal, penile or throat cancer. Of those the cancer of the cervix from HPV is the most common. The best way to protect yourself are regular pap smears. Don't let the fact that you only sleep with women fool you into thinking you don't need those. Every female-born person who has physical sexual contact with others needs them. Even if they only have safer sex. There is also a vaccine that protects you from strains of HPV that cause 70% of cancers. It's worth looking into even if you've already been sexual (people can get the virus, clear it and get reinfected - that raises the risk of cancer). Even with the vaccine you'll need paps for that 30%. Paps are important because when the cancer is caught early the chances of survival are high (up to 90% in the first stage to only 15% in the fourth). In my country paps aren't popular and we have less than 50% average survival from cervical cancer - one of the worst in Europe. 

In the end you'll have to work out your own safer sex rules. You have to factor in how frequently you'll be able to get tested (the less frequently the more strict you need to be) and how many partners you'd like to have in that span (and how safe they are with other people), how prevalent the HIV virus is in the community where you search for partners (try to find out in the nearest health center that deals with HIV prevention), how much barriers interfere with your enjoyment (some women just accept them as a part of the package) etc.

P.S. Violet Blue has amazing cheat-sheets for STIs.

Why not make a beautiful pair

Tue, 06/21/2011 - 07:29

Why not make a beautiful pair of panties from dental dam material. It has a sheen, is sheer, can be made into small frills and with similar production methods turning out a diverse range of products very cheaply already, like supermarket carrier bags, it seems an obvious and rather appealing alternative.

Yes washing and sterilising

Tue, 06/21/2011 - 07:36

Yes washing and sterilising hands is good advice. Ostiopaths and massuers touch peoples skin with their bare hands all day every working day for years and don't transmit any infections or contract any.

Safe eating

Sat, 06/25/2011 - 10:00
soapberryusa (not verified)

If there is any question about the intended body that you will be interacting with you shouldn't be interacting with it at all.  Why would anyone want to sidle up to a possible disease of some degree.  If they are not disease free kick their can to the curb. One must show some control and responsibility but according to statistics they don't always. "What fools these mortals be."

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