Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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Hello Dr. Dodson,

I have physical issues with my lower back, legs and feet which affect my overall mobility and also cause me to cramp very easily in my legs and feet and cramps and spasms in my back. My menstruation is about 2-3 days a month with a heavy 1-2 days bookended by spotting and light flow. My questions are about making love with my husband and positions of least resistance, menstruation problems with pain in tampon insertion and also if I began my period at the age of 13 years old, when can I basically expect menopause to occurr?

I am not into anal sex at all and anything inserted in my vagina hurts such as my tampon when I go to put it in, there is a very heavy pain along the inside of my vaginal walls. I also get a very strong amonia like odor from it around my period and at other times it smells of cum, very musky and a bit cheesy. What are the earliest signs of a pre-menopausal state?

My husband has told me he is going to wait on our making love until I've gone through menopause and I am in no danger of becoming pregnant. I only have one kidney and with my other health issues cannot carry a child and we just don't want kids. He and I are very reluctant to even use a condom as we're afraid it will break. Birth control pills are a no-go, too because of my health. I greatly appreciate any and all advice you can impart. You do such great work and I really respect your opinion and knowledge. Thank you and have an amazing day.

Warm Regards,

D

Dear D,

It would help if I knew your age. It's believed that the later a woman starts her period, the earlier she will stop. I didn't menstruate until I was 16 and my last period was on my 50th birthday. I don't believe there is any scientific way to know this but you might try Google and see what turns up.

As for vaginal pain during penetration, there could be so many causes. I'm a sexologist not a medical professional. You might want to check in with a gynecologist. (I'd recommend a woman). If you don't have one, ask some of your women friends who they like. You might have some kind of imbalance in your vaginal tract that is causing the different odors.

One common problem for women during vaginal penetration is that we are rarely turned on enough to provide adequate lubrication, especially in your case with all the cramping issues. If penetration is painful I'd avoid it, but if you do have intercourse or any kind of penetration be sure to use a good lubricant. Any clean massage oil without perfume or chemicals with a nut base will work. Never insert a tampon without first wetting it with saliva.

Also check out my information on getting in touch with your pelvic floor muscles. Given your cramping muscle problem (Also Google this as there are many sites where people share information) I'd suspect your PC muscle might be chronically tense. Squats can help to release it so also read about this on the site. The left hand column shows our different topics.

Meanwhile, masturbation (my specialty) will take care of your orgasms. I hope you have a good vibrator like the Mystic or Magic Wand. A good masturbation toy for your husband would be the Fleshlight. Guys say it's nearly as good as a vagina.

Finally, I am a great believer in diet as a healing element. How most of eat is very unhealthy with all the processed and packaged food. Throw in all the damn pharmaceutical drugs and we are doomed. Many years ago I ended up at a Yoga camp where I saw really sick people improve rapidly with a change of diet, meditation, breathing exercises and stretching. Perhaps you are ready for some kind of health retreat.

Dr. Betty

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