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Thanks to You I Realized Herpes isn't a Big Deal

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 15:46
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

Your opinions on HSV2 have made me look at the virus in a whole new light. You've really changed my mind, and I can feel your support! It's really not a big deal, and my partner knows I have it, but I continue to worry constantly that he will catch it from me and it will ruin our relationship. I now realize that we love each other, but even more than that, I love myself. I know that I am who I am, regardless of this cold sore virus I have!

I've always regarded myself as a feminist, and a sex positive woman. I am lucky to have grown up with open-minded, accepting parents and an inquisitive mind. I really owe you a lot, you've uplifted my mood in a way I just couldn't seem to do. You've reinforced my idea that this virus is not a big deal, and nothing to be ashamed of. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I couldn't be happier to have such an intelligent woman on my side, on our side!

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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I can see your point

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 18:27
Heylin

But I also see patients who are suffering with this disease, constant painful outbreaks requiring wound care as well as antivirals. Nowhere near as devastating as HIV or syphilis which I see a lot of as well. However, if you and your partner are happy and you're not suffering and you're taking precautions, then prehaps you are like many other who have this virus and never realize it.
Enjoy!

HSV2

Wed, 03/30/2011 - 18:54
WD (not verified)

I've heard Dr. Laura Berman on her OWN show refer to Herpes as "a skin disease" --hope I'm quoting her right...that was to belay the anxiety of a woman with that condition who felt a lot of shame and unacceptance of herself after contracting the disease. I also have first hand experience, having contracted it in my early 20's. Back then the "treatment" was, and I'm not making this up: "paint your genitals with a yellow dye and expose yourself to a light bulb". From my GP to your ears/eyes. So much progress has been made with anti-virals and education. But it's a life sentance, irregardless, but as said above, not like HPV, HIV, etc. Disclosure is mandatory. Had I been informed by my partner that she had it, I wouldn't have it, today. My first realization that I had something permanent was when my wife of a couple months came back from her Dr visit to inform me she had Genital Herpes and I must have given it to her. I had no clue. She blames me to this day. So the above poster is wise to disclose. The patient/client of Dr. Laura Berman disclosed this to her guy and he was accepting. They have two healthy children without the disease, as do I, thank goodness. 
Also the number of people with Herpes (I and II) is staggering. A great percentage do not even know they have it and don't display symptoms. Some do. The "prodrome" period can be painful...I never had sores that needed treatment. Over time it seems to be more supressed by the body and fewer outbreaks may occur. But the one frightening statistic I would pay attention to is that even without any symptoms there's a 10% chance of spreading it while the virus is active and "shedding" occurs--its not exactly visible. Condoms may very well not protect because of the wide area of possible infection and that shedding may entail. So I'll close with: be aware, get tested, get informed--there are several excellent DR moderated websites with lots of good information about symptoms, treatment, protection,etc. G'day.

it's not a big deal to me either

Tue, 04/12/2011 - 02:37
ella_k

A few months ago, I wrote in to Betty. I told her I was terrified that I had contracted herpes from the very first time I recieved oral sex. I had a weird burning feeling and I was red. Betty told me to not worry and to just calm down. Turns out it wasn't herpes. I had a rash from using a hair removal cream. In the couple weeks I spent panicking, I realized that herpes isn't a big deal. At least not to me. My biggest fear was that I thought no man would want to be with me. I didn't care about my health or my comfort. The only thing I cared about was how other people would think of me. That's stupid. In a way, I felt relief when I thought I had it. I felt like I didn't need to worry about it anymore and if I did meet someone, he'd have to accept it and if he did, he's probably a mature and educated man who wouldn't think of me as "slutty" or nasty. Too bad it was just a rash.

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