Opening of My Vagina Too Sore for Sex

Mon, 03/21/2011 - 08:57
Submitted by Betty Dodson

First of all, I just wanted to say thanks. Before I started following your website I thought I was incapable of having orgasms because I couldn't come from manual stimulation, but now I'm having them regularly with my vibrator.

I am a twenty year old woman and have been with my boyfriend for about three years now. Vaginal penetration is rarely comfortable for me. The problem isn't that he's hitting my cervix, rather, I feel stretching and chafing at the very opening of my vagina. We use lots of lube and have tried different kinds but the problem persists. He waits until I'm totally aroused and wet and enters very slowly. His penis isn't huge , so that's not it either.

What happens is that initial penetration is slightly uncomfortable and difficult, but after a couple of minutes I get used to it and it feels fine. Then after another five or so minutes, I start to chafe and it eventually becomes so uncomfortable that we have to stop. This is frustrating for me because I really want to be able to enjoy penetration. I would love to have him fuck me while I use my vibrator on myself without the chafing killing the mood. The strange thing is that it's only the very opening of my vagina that is uncomfortable. I was thinking that it could be my hymen, which still seems to be in place (in fact it does not look or feel that much smaller than it did before I started having sex). If so, why didn't it stretch or break long ago?

Dear F,

You have actually dealt with everything I would have asked you to consider. Other than it might be an especially tough hymen, you may have what is called "vulvodynia" which is a some kind of nerve disorder that continues to mystify science. Read up on it. Below is what I got from Google.

"A. Burning sensations are most common, however, the type and severity of symptoms experienced are highly individualized. Some women describe their pain as stinging irritation or rawness. Vulvodynia may be constant or intermittent, [concentrated on one area or spread out]. The two major subsets of the condition, dysesthetic vulvodynia and vulvar vestibulitis syndrome (VVS), are quite different."

There are books that deal with this subject. One of the best is Dr. Elizabeth Stuart. Her V book is very informative. Don't lose heart. If nothing else, you can use some kind of numbing cream just on the opening of your vagina. It wouldn't interfere with your clitoral stimulation. Keep me posted on your progress.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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Feel the need to a comment

Sat, 04/30/2011 - 06:40
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Feel the need to a comment here just in case someone who doesn't know much about Vulvodynia lands on this page.
I actually have vuvla vestibulitis - sounds exactly like what "F" has. Sex usually hurts for the first minute or so, it goes away, and then it sometimes come back. I used to think it'd come back because I wasn't turned on anymore BUT it's really the pain that makes me not turned on anymore. Imagine that ..... :)
I am one of the lucky ones who goes into remission for months at a time then I have a wierd flare up.
This problem started for me when I was in my early 20's. I got it after a bladder infection and yeast infection. At the time it was extreme itching (felt like a constant yeast infection even thoug I didn't have one) and pain during penetration. In my later 20's it worsened considerably and it ALWAYS hurt and itched. I literally had to wear skirts for a good 6 months at one point! It was BAD!
I went to see a million doctors. It was awful! They all said my partner wasn't patient enough and wasn't satisfying me, which I knew wasn't true. Cuz, as long as he didn't go INSIDE me, I loved it ... except for that 6 month period when it just hurt all the time.
Eventually, I was sent to a doctor whom I think helped. I had to insert a medical dildo two times a day for 20 minutes each and just sit there. I had to lubricate the dildo with anti fungal cream... I can't remember the name, but it's the one people use for their feet. It had to be the famous one, the one that we see in commercials. GROSS, I know! He also told me not to have any sex at all for 6 months.
I started out on a teeny tiny dildo. It was SO small but it hurt SO much! But, eventually it stopped and at my second appt I moved up two dildo sizes. And again that hurt SO much as well. But eventually that stopped hurting too. I was then "prescribed" sex twice a week along with masturbating every day :)
The doctor's logic for this treatment:
For some reason alot of women get this after a yeast infection or bladder infection. That part of our bodies is sensitive to it so becomes "permanently damged". This is why VVS suffers get minor tears so easily. That was the purpose for the cream. The purpose of the dildos (and starting from small and moving to bigger) is because we have to retrain the elasticity down there. We need to do it slowly, and gently. Masturbation (with climax) had something to do with getting blood flow to the area so that it heals. And, sex twice a week has something to do with the area not tightening up again?! I still use my dildo when we don't have sex for a week or two.
Other things that I did to improve things down there include:
Dead Sea Salt bath... not a few drops of dead sea salt, but a good cup or two every day for a good couple of months! 
I cut yeast out of my diet for a good 3 months (since my body is sensitive to it). I still do this for a month or so at a time.
I used a homeopathic remedy.
I hope this information helps someone! It's a devastating illness!

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