We Need More Sex Ed for Men. Ejaculation Alone is Just a Penile Sneeze

Fri, 02/11/2011 - 16:41
Submitted by Betty Dodson

I just finished reading Orgasms for Two after noticing it perched on a new woman's nightstand. Thanks for putting it out there. I enjoyed reading it and she was impressed that I finished it before she did. But here's the "but": Sometimes I felt it was a little gynocentric.

It's good for men and women to read about and more fully understand female sexuality; it's great that the female orgasm is getting more attention (even if that does occasionally lead to my desire to be a source of it--that's a tough one to get over sometimes). But I feel as though, believe it or not, with all this new press the male orgasm may be taking a back seat. I don't need to have an orgasm every time I have sex but it's ideal when we both do. (Ejaculation alone is just a penile sneeze).

Anyway, rather than digressing further, I really just wondered if you could recommend a book or author that provides a male perspective on sexuality that's as progressive and sensitive as your own; maybe one that lets women in on us as much as Sex for Two helps men understand them. Plus, although I'm only slightly bisexual, I feel that more in depth discussion of gay male partnersex could be helpful too.

Dear C,

It's very exciting for any man (or woman for that matter) to be present when a lover has a big orgasm if they have been part of the process. Not the source, that belongs to the person who is coming, but holding the space so our lovers can experience a huge jolt of pleasure is always a privilege.

In a world primarily managed and controlled by men, I had to smile when you complained about my book being "a little gynocentric." I meant it to be primarily for the benefit of women and the men who love them. Your thoughts about what you would like to see in a book aimed at men I will pass onto Eric, but maybe you are the one to write that book. I sense you are bright, articulate and thoughtful. Sit down and tell your story, make it an e-book and we'll post you on our website if it's any good.

Sorry I can't recommend a book for you. I rarely read because I prefer to write, but let's see if someone comes up with a title for guys from a man's POV that would be a companion to "Orgasms for Two." I like the idea.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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That title made me

Fri, 02/11/2011 - 20:28
Palesa (not verified)

That title made me laugh.
It's good to see a man wanting to know more about sex beyond the "sneeze".

Would be nice

Sat, 02/12/2011 - 16:40

Would be nice to read something about how all penis owners face a violent tyranny to conform to the stereotype that is "men" to become drones in drab dull clothes with a power life agenda that has to have it's face saved at every life challenge and means your  frightened to express too much of your emotion and of yourself. Whenever I hear this Gender stereotype "men" I think YUK YUK YUK!! get that stupid crap away from me it has nothing to do with me. When I meet people they're possible friends I'm not forming instant battle alliances by saying mate  or bud every 2 secs :) Sorry Betty, it just really gets on my nerves, and probably as much as it does yours, because from butch to ladyboys I don't see men I see only penis owners.
Anyway yeah, if you feel one building up, it is lovely when you finally sneeze :) ha ha and having sneezed of course you no longer have your own imperative and have all the time in the world to simply pleasure your hot partner and your absolutely right, that's a lovely pleasure all of it's own. 
Sorry about the rant :) ha ha 

The author is right - female

Thu, 03/17/2011 - 18:24
George D (not verified)

The author is right - female partners have been astounded in the past when I tell them that it isn't necessarily fireworks, it's often more like a fizzle. A good orgasm is something else, but a lousy one gives less pleasure than a peanut butter sandwhich.
Not to mention that in the wrong emotional environment, alone or partnered, it can actually feel like a negative thing. If you've had a rather uninspiring orgasm it's frequently when you've ejaculated prematurely, and can leave you feeling worse than when you started. A net loss of pleasure!
As women have become more aware of orgasm, they've come to feel cheated
when their partner comes and they don't. Why is he having all the fun? Male orgasm is assumed to be the same as female orgasm, which it seems from my perspective to be significantly different from. All of which is say there's need for more good sex, and more good sex information.

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