Survived Breast Cancer - Had Hysterectomy - Sex is Painful. HELP

Fri, 02/18/2011 - 17:19
Submitted by Betty Dodson

I am a 65 year old breast cancer survivor. My breast cancer has been removed and I have taken 6 weeks of radiation. I have also had a hysterectomy in 1997 due to fibroids. For the last 8 months I have had constant bladder infections, yeast infections, bacterial infections and just last month my bartholin gland was swollen and finally blew up!

As you can well imagine, my husband and I are having trouble with painful sex and now I have no desire to have sex because every time we do, something happens like another infection. I am using the following products: Rephresh, Replens, Astro Glide, Cystex, and femdophilus. My cancer was estrogen fed, so I can not use any estrogen therapy. Can you give us any suggestions of where to go from here?

Dear P,

Time to do a make-over on your sex life. With all that you've been through, intercourse is the last thing you should have to suffer the consequences of more pain. There are many other activities to take it's place that are more enjoyable for woman as a rule.

Time to get some wonderful new sex toys that you and your husband can play with. He can get a Fleshlight for masturbation that simulates a woman's vagina. You can get the Magic or Mystic Wand vibrator for clitoral stimulation. Both are available from our sex shop. Any natural nut based oil can be found in most health food stores like Almond or Coconut oil. He can use it on his penis for penetrating his new toy while you can use it for vulva massage and clitoral stimulation by hand or with a vibrator. With a nice clean massage oil you can both enjoy giving and receiving manual sex. And of course you can also take turns sharing oral sex.

STOP using all of the other stuff except Fem Dophilus. All of those nasty lubes have glycerin in them which is a sugar that feeds vaginal yeast that causes everything to go out of balance. No wonder you have painful infections. Once a woman goes through menopause unless she' using some form of hormone replacement, the vaginal walls get thin and dry out causing pain instead of pleasure. Men-on-pause. It's called that for a reason. I'm sure your husband will be more than happy to cooperate with a new way to enjoy sex. Don't be surprised if you begin to enjoy sex much more for the fist time.

Dr. Betty


Thank you so much for all of your good advice! If I do not use all the other products mentioned below (recommended from GYN Dr and Urologist) what can I use as a lubricant to just keep the vagina moist. In Arizona everything dries out very fast!!!

I am going to health food store tomorrow to look for Almond and Coconut oil to use with the new toys.

Thanks for all y our help, we will give it all a try.


I am sending this e-mail to let you know your advice was great! I stopped using all the products the gynecologist and urologist were recommending. I started using the almond oil and we ordered two of the sex toys you recommended. There is a lot more smiling at our house now!

It would also be wonderful if you would have a separate section on your website for women that have had hysterectomies and breast cancer. We have a lot of the same issues regarding body image, lack of sex drive, no estrogen, dryness problems, etc. It would be wonderful for ALL of those women to have a place to get information and help. None of the cancer books and none of my doctors were helpful in these areas.

Thanks again for all your is good again! P

Dear P,

What good news! I'm so glad you took the time to tell me that it all worked. So many women are having to go through the breast cancer routine, I agree it would be great to have a section on this. We'll take it into consideration. Meanwhile could you send me our original email exchange so I can post it together with this. Thanks,

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time