Home » Blogs » Betty Dodson's blog

Orgasm With My Legs Straight - Tensed Up

Thu, 02/10/2011 - 09:36
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi betty!

I'm an 18 year old girl who lost her virginity about 3 months ago. Since I was a young child I've always been fascinated by sex and knew I would be a very sexual person when I was older. After finding out that actually sex isnt like it is in the movies where the woman has a huge full body orgasm after only a few seconds of penetration I'm looking for the answer to real great sex. This lead me to stumble upon your videos on youtube about 3 days ago and you've already helped me so much! During masturbation (which I did a lot of before I even heard about you and what you teach) :)

I used to only be able to come with my legs straight down and tensed, but watching one of your videos and hearing your answer to a woman who had the same problem led me to be able to come with knees bent up and rocking my pelvis. However after watching more of your videos I have learnt about all the different types of orgasm and I have identified that I always have tension orgasms. I have to hold A LOT of tension in my body, mainly in my legs to reach orgasm and this is how I have been orgasming since I started masturbating at about 13. I cant seem to come any other way and I am worried that this will make it difficult to orgasm during partner-sex even with my own clit-stim because I wont be able to get into the right position to tense and come. Please help me find away to come without tensing and having to be in a certain position.

Also I have discovered my PC muscle and I love it! It feels great just to tense them that I almost get a miny orgasm! Is this an orgasm? One more question- during partner sex I enjoy and can feel a finger more than a penis inside me. I only lost my virginity about 3 monthsed to get used to a penis more? When I have sex I like the feeling of a penis but I dont get the same sparks inside me as I do when it is a finger. Isnt it suposed to be the other way around?

Thank you

K

Dear KG,

I think you are doing great. Like my art instructor used to tell my impatient youthful self, "My dear child, Rome wasn't built in a day." It always made me furious that he didn't just TELL me what to do to make my art better. It always came down to "practice' and now I say the same to you. Practice sex and explore your mind and body with masturbation.

Keep reading all over our website and please, don't focus so much on orgasm as a goal or a destination. Most of your questions and concerns will be answered naturally as you go along. Tension orgasms are just fine. You will develop other orgasm "styles" over time. Just remember to enjoy all the good feelings as you build up to small, medium or large orgasms.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.

penis vs. fingers

Mon, 02/14/2011 - 00:31
riagiac5 (not verified)

Just want to say that its totally okay to prefer fingers to penis. I'm a big fan of both, but if for some reason I had to choose I would go with fingers! Fingers can curve to just the right angle, and you can change the girth as you go.
Of course, I think you're on to something. In our heteronormative and penis-centered world its "supposed" to be the other way around. But what do they know? Anyways, have fun!!

How can I find that video

Sun, 04/28/2013 - 11:12
Françoise (not verified)

How can I find that video that explains ow to orgasm without keeping your legs straight? I have always had that problem and it's nice to know that there is an anwser. Thanks.

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
By submitting this form, you accept the Mollom privacy policy.