Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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The other day I was watching a porn movie made by a woman so I figured it would be better than most. The plot begins with a couple acting out a cliché of a married couple who have very quick vanilla sex, got back into bed, roll over and go to sleep. I could identify with that one.

The next more sexually adventurous couple with a hot blonde and her very sexy brown man demonstrated some sophisticated partnersex that began with oral, manual and vaginal penetration combined with a butt plug in her behind. Oh my! One of favorites! The film then proceeded to follow both couples to a restaurant where the two get acquainted. The conservative couple is taken to a sex party that had many good elements as the beginners are introduced to sex with total strangers.

The film went on to depict another larger sex party with beautiful women, a few attractive men but most of the guys were average looking. The women were all thin, gorgeous and young. Most had breast implants. There was only one older man who was sexy, but unlike most Americans, none of the men carried any belly weight. Since the film was quite lengthy, my mind drifted over to memories of my sex party days in the sixties and early seventies. We were all different shapes, sizes and ages with a few singles. Back then, there wasn’t one titty implant in sight unlike today.

At one point, I became aware of several repetitious sex acts in the film. Sucking dick was a staple naturally with less cunt licking. Our hot blonde encouraged a man to ejaculate on her beautifully made up face. She then acted as though his jism was some kind of sweet cream that she just couldn’t get enough of. From my experience, that’s just so much Bull Shit! The only time I found a man’s semen being rather sweet instead of acrid with a touch of ammonia was a vegetarian-pot smoking- twenty-something hippy. The men at this party were all meat eating drinkers. One scene showed our hot blonde who was a seasoned pro begging for a load. I winced when I saw one spurt land at the corner of her massacred eye with a gob spilling into her eyeball. I know from experience that semen stings, but she never showed any displeasure.

So many men were doing the “Slap Her Butt Move” that consistently left women’s white porcelain skin pinked or red. Smack, smack, smack! Not one woman slapped a man’s ass. Why do guys think that’s a turn on for all women? In my experience it’s just a distraction. If a woman is really into a spanking it’s more of a thing in itself. Another repetitious move was the fast friction fuck. Delicate female assholes were fucked without much warm up that might have taken place off camera, but I didn’t see it. I did appreciate seeing extra lubrication being used and women stimulating their own clits. That’s a big step forward for womankind. Did I see any authentic female orgasms? I only witnessed one that I could be sure of.

Mind you, I don’t like the romantic gooey-crap with little to no sex action. Combined with clit stim, I also like penetration, but done slow with some artfulness to it— none of that “plunge deep and drive it home on the first thrust” that causes most women to gasp or wince. Meanwhile Mr. Macho is satisfied that he’s had an affect on the woman he’s just entered. It ain’t passion, Buddy. It’s more like a consensual rape that she’s at least getting paid to tolerate. I’m talking about women who are professional porn stars. They learn to fake pleasure, they are tough and they know how to take it! They are also knowledgeable about sex and most of them know how to have an orgasm on their own terms in private with a lover.

Just imagine all the young men who are getting their sex education from watching porn. That’s the big problem. They believe they are witnessing what women want but the truth is that porn is based upon men’s fantasies: All women needis a hard throbbing penis in order to come in just a few minutes with fast hard fucking. These young men also feel sexually inadequate comparing their genitals to men in porn who are chosen because they have big ones. Meanwhile our young boy has grown up masturbating in his bedroom while holding his breath to come fast so he won’t get caught. He captures his ejaculate in a tissue or one of his dirty socks while feelings of guilt instantly follow.

His counterpart is a young woman who has rarely or never masturbated. She’s not at all informed about sex. She has never been penetrated except maybe with a tampon and she believes she’ll know what an orgasm is when she finds the “right” man. Her Prince is a teen or twenty-something kid who has done fast masturbation in the bathroom or on his computer while looking at porn. First time sex with two uniformed youths is bound to be a failure. We cringe when we think of a woman who’s been sewn up after FGM. However, intact women also experience pain the first time unless they have had their vaginas opened gradually. She suffers while he’s embarrassed he came so fast and hurt her in the process. Both are humiliated and disappointed with the disastrous out-come of first time penetration sex— an unfortunate beginning.

On top of all that pain and humiliation, she now has to worry if she’s pregnant. Sometimes our teen girl is with child from her first time out. Talk about cruel and unusual punishment that orthodox religious people will say serves her right. If her life if not ruined, it’s at least limited. As a single mom (the boys usually disappear) she will be relegated to the working poor and never be able to get ahead with a child to care for at a time when she should have been in school. It’s difficult if not impossible to continue to even want or to enjoy sex after an experience like that with or without an unwanted pregnancy. Even after having an abortion, she feels relieved but the whole experience has left a negative mark on her psyche and her future sexlife.

Now lets consider a woman who has been married twenty-some years, raised several kids and she’s never had an orgasm. Sex is somewhat pleasurable but she's always known her orgasm is missing. Naturally she blames herself. A few women take this in stride until menopause releases them from serving their husband’s sexual needs. That’s ok for some men because they’ve otten had sex outside marriage. Other husbands resort to masturbation and miss the loss of vaginal sex with their wives. Many couples end up getting a divorce only to repeat the same pattern again. Very often his new wife has faked orgasm to get him to marry her, but once the knot is tied, she phases out sex while he’s left confused and bewildered— back to where he began. These unnecessary sad results are the absence of an adequate sex education.

Today, most kids grow up watching porn which means his cock wants to go inside some orifice— a mouth, vagina or anus. The combination of manual sex and sucking a penis is cool but most men would prefer anal sex first, vaginal next and finally a blowjob which is the easiest for both a man and a woman. Today some girls who are having orgasms can’t recognize them because they don’t “ejaculate.” While a small minority of women have this response, it's far from universal. But the G spot got very fashionable very fast with new G toys sold commercially.

Another disturbing element in this particular porn film was a group of fully dressed voyeurs standing around watching a big orgy scene. This was forbidden at sixties parties. Once everyone is nude, we all became participants instead of a bunch of clothed vampires sucking up the sexual energy. Still there were many hot moments of real honest lust that that made my clit plump up. Like my buddy Grant used to say, “The lighting is much better, the camera work professional and a few clits being played with showed up in some of the action.”

I confess I am a harsh critic when it comes to all visual representations of sex. I’m much better off when I imagine filthy, dirty, disgusting scenes that I would never try in a million years. It’s the forbidden that makes me hot and it’s mostly about BIG cocks plunging into small tight orifices against the will of some helpless young victim who must endure the pain and humiliation. Go figure— it’s everything I criticize when I watch porn but taken to the max. Meanwhile I’m having full blown orgasms with my vibrator and dildo. My SM imagination knows no bounds and my fantasies make no sense. Perhaps that’s the essence of the creative process— I will never fully understand where inspiration comes from, but I know it wants to be expressed.

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