Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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Dear Dr. Betty,

I just want to say I love this website and your youtube videos with Carlin. I have learned alot about sex and I love your honesty and freedom of expression when it comes to sex. I'm an 18 year old girl, and my whole life I have been masturbating to orgasm, since I was a little girl about four or five. It is a seriously rare occasion where I don't have a wonderful orgasm during masturbation, and I tend to masturbate about 1-3 times a day depending on where I am in my cycle.

I have a few problems with my masturbation routine. Ever since I was little, I have laid on my back and dry humped something soft like a pillow or blanket with at least one layer of clothing over my vulva, which provides great clitoral stimulation. While this is great, it is the only, and I mean ONLY thing that can get me off. I have never had anything in my vagina- I don't even use tampons, because I'm still tight and I don't want it to hurt. I've always assumed I'm just going to wait until I have sex for the first time, but now I'm thinking that's not such a good idea.

I find it hard to relate to straight porn at all because I don't understand what the girl is feeling- and I want to. I want to learn how to penetrate myself during masturbation to switch up my routine and get myself more prepared. But a few questions: Will it hurt? Does it start to feel good after a while? And how can I make a good start to begin penetration?
I would love to hear all your tips.

Thanks so much!
K

Dear K,

You are in a good place to begin to educate yourself about your own sexuality. First check out "Upgrading Your Masturbation Technique." Then go to "First Time Orgasm" and follow my simple steps. You need to make a more direct contact with your vulva especially discovering your clitoris which is the source of our orgasms. So come out from under all the clothes and blankets to learn more about your wonderful sex organ.

Most women do not experience an orgasm from vaginal penetration especially early on. Also check out "First Time Penetration." Instead of masturbating several times a day, I'd recommend you do it once and spend more time at it. Learn to develop more sensations instead of a "quickie" so you can deepen the orgasm experience. All the information you need is on the website. Don't look for "tips" but rather gain some solid information and we've got it there for you. Forget porn. Check out our sexual skills series under Videos. It sounds like you are heading in the right direction to own your own sexuality.

Dr. Betty