I do have a problem and I don't know if I'm able to describe it in all it's complex details. I am able to orgasm by clitoral stimulation both by myself and my boyfriend. It sure feels good having it stimulated and so does the orgasm, but somehow sexual excitement seems to go into the wrong direction with me. It somehow is always connected with anger and I don't mean the arousement results from the anger but the other way round. After an orgasm I'm not "satisfied".
My sexual arousement has grown big at this point and the orgasm can't bring me down again, no matter how often I orgasm. I'm able to do this a few times in a row and maybe other women take this as a gift, but it is not satisfying and after sex I always am in the worst mood ever though I did come.
It gets worse with every orgasm, because excitement keeps on growing but can't be brought down again. It's even when masturbating that there is no point of satisfaction, where I am happy about the orgasm(s) I had, but always the anger of not being satisfied growing with every minute I keep it going. Maybe I do have to add that I only feel sexual excitement in my body, but barely in my mind. Having sex is always a rational decision, sexual arousement (body) followed by stimulation and as I said, I feel aroused and am able to orgasm. The problem is the satisfaction part, there seems no way to achieve that. And because I know I'm always angry and unsatisfied afterwards, this also has the effect that I like to have sex less and less.
I went off birth control to check if it had something to do with it. But since that I experience to be very sensitive and easily brought to anger in general (pms?), so that this problem even got worse and affects my relationship because I connect sexual pleasure (body) with anger (mind). I consider myself as sex positive and would love to get some joy out of it, but I don't. And because my boyfriend gets lots of pleasure out of it and sex means a lot (!) to him, I feel more and more bothered by that. It would be great if you had an advice on how to handle or solve this problem.
Your advices in the past always helped so much!! Thanks for your great work.
Just recently I had a discussion with a friend of mine. She's a therapist while my expertise is sexology, helping women discover orgasm and pleasure. What you have described sounds like "persistent sexual arousal" that does not feel good to the person who can't get away from it. I'm going to forward your email to her and let's see what she has to say. I believe she has dealt with this before.
Her questions were, "how old is she, when did it start and there is the part of how much her boyfriend loves sex that's questionable". She can pull up the DSMV and look for sexual disorders not listed before, PGAD, persistent genital arousal disorder is a complicated diagnosis. It is no longer called PSAD because it was considered incorrect and a slam to libido, a judgmet so to speak."
It just so happens that Carlin posted the latest DSMV that deals with this. So it would seem that some kind of therapy with a competent doctor is in order. Let me know how you solve this problem.