What's the Difference Between Ejaculation and Orgasm?

Mon, 02/22/2010 - 14:35
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty

What is the difference between orgasm and ejaculation in women? And in men too, for that matter?

Dear R,

Good question: When a man ejaculates too quickly (as in premature ejaculation), the sensation is not all that satisfying. It's a reflex that has no build-up behind it. An orgasm that follows a period of time of building up pleasurable sensations will be far more satisfying. Not that coming fast doesn't relieve some tension, but the quality of the pleasure experienced is minimal.

For a woman who is being stimulated vaginally with rapid strumming on the ceiling of her vagina or fast fucking, she too will have a reflex instead of a full orgasm. Squirting will relieve the tension of an aroused urethral sponge that is connected to a woman's bladder that continues to fill up with urine. Remember, the authors of the book G-spot insist that female ejaculation is no more than a teaspoon of liquid. All those young girls shooting across the room are having a pissing contest. Not that it isn't fun but it's just not the same as orgasm.

In spite of all the PR and new toys committed to the grossly overrated G-spot, along with the disappearance of the word "clitoris," I continue to doubt the pleasure aspect of female ejaculation. Instead I see it as a performance to please men and lesbians who constantly want proof that they have "Made her come." And yes, similar to premature ejaculation in men, squirting would be a reflex or release that feels good, but the quality of the pleasure experienced would be minimal when compared to a combination orgasm that includes clitoral and vaginal penetration at the same time.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.

Squirting

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 05:12
Anne Black (not verified)

I am a squirter or a gusher whatever you like to call it.  I've not always been and like another lady wrote to you that since she started squirting her clitoral orgasams are harder to acheive.  Anyway that is by the by, what I'm really righting to say was that I'm not sure I like your rhetoric when you say things like "All those young girls shooting across the room are having a pissing contest".  I'm not in competetion with anyone and I'm not doing it to impress anyone!  I love it, you say it's not a proper orgasam but it sure feels amazing!

Further to this "I continue to doubt the pleasure aspect of female ejaculation. Instead I
see it as a performance to please men and lesbians who constantly want
proof that they have "Made her come." If you continue to doubt the pleasure aspect then you obviously don't ejaculate, it is extremely pleasureable AND I certainly don't do it to please the men I enjoy sexual encounters with. Again the rhetoric here is saying that you are doubting your fellow woman when they say it is enjoyable and you are saying that they are just doing it to please men - it's almost verging on Matriarchial control, which as we all know is as oppressive as patriarchial control!  I say 1) that is utter bollocks and 2) I haven't lost respect for your or your work, which is amazing but I am a little shocked at your attitude to women that squirt.  
Isabella

Disappointing

Wed, 09/17/2014 - 18:05
CM (not verified)

I, too, sometimes ejaculate during sex. This has in the past included penis in vagina sex without specific clitoral stimulation, clitoral-only solo masturbation, and oral simulation of my clitoris without vaginal penetration (among other types of sex). I can assure you that in my experience, ejaculation is not for someone else's benefit; that it feels fully and amazingly pleasurable; that it is not a "reflex" orgasm; and that it is on par with and sometimes occurs in concert with orgasmic sensation associated with clitoral stimulation + vaginal penetration. 

I also find it pretty disappointing that you dismiss ejaculation in a woman as merely reflex urination. Surely a sexologist of your caliber is familiar with the various studies that support the position that the source and composition of ejaculation in a female is more than simply urine/bladder. Such a stance is dismissive for the women for whom ejaculation enhances their sexual experience.

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
By submitting this form, you accept the Mollom privacy policy.