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Betty Dodson: Sex, Love, Feminism, Politics › Ask Betty ›

Trying to Get Pregnant Killed My Sex Drive

Posted December 3rd, 2009 by Betty Dodson
in

Hi Betty

I have been trying to get pregnent for over a year now and am very stressed as a result. Sex has become a numb experience for me I dont feel anything and I do not know what to do.  Can you help?

Dear R,

I would suggest forgetting about getting pregnant for now. How many times have you heard about a woman adopting a child after failing to get pregnant and not long after that, she gets pregnant. To me that suggests that "trying" to get pregnant doesn't work for everyone. Take a vacation from it all including sex with your husband just for a while. I'll bet your desire will return. Meanwhile be sure to spend some time alone with your vibrator and some hot fantasies. I'm sure hubby will understand.

Dr. Betty

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your numbness

Submitted by Princess on Sun, 12/06/2009 - 19:53.

your problem  is very typical given what you are trying to accomplish. if you can separate "pleasure" time and "babysex" time, you might feel more. If you use your vibrator that should help.

the stress is the largest factor. the pressure is phenomenal. sex became a chore not a delight.

talk to your partner about it.you can bet he's feeling the same way.

at the same time, don't forget that the task at hand, at this moment in your life, may take away the old feelings.  acknowledge it, honor it, communicate.  Don't give your body one more job to do or one more self criticism right now. The likelihood is that absolutely nothing is wrong.

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