Betty Dodson's blog

Awakening the Clitoris

Thu, 12/29/2011 - 12:52
Submitted by Betty Dodson

After hearing countless sex histories from girls and women over the past four decades, I believe sexual repression begins the moment a parent or caregiver punishes a child’s natural curiosity for touching their own sex organs.

Society needs to understand that the health of each person’s sexlife rests upon childhood masturbation— the foundation upon which all of human sexuality is based. It’s very consistent that each client I see struggling with orgasms as an adult has no memory of masturbating in childhood or in their teens. The absence of this natural self-exploration interferes with the development of nerve pathways that carry positive sensations from our genitals to the pleasure center in the brain. This blocks or slows down the development of sexual release with orgasm.

Learn a New Orgasm: How to Upgrade Your Masturbation Technique

Sun, 05/16/2010 - 17:38
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Over the years, one frequently asked question comes from women and a few men who are unable to incorporate their current method of masturbation into partnersex.

Many have carried the same pattern of childhood masturbation over into adulthood and it's now the only way they can get off. Some are stimulating their genitals with one or both hands pressed between legs that are tightly squeezed together while lying face down on their tummies- not conducive to sharing orgasms with another person. Others are humping folded blankets, wooden floors, riding the arm of an overstuffed chair or pressing against hard counter tops.

Did I Ruin My Clit from Unlubricated Masturbation?

Tue, 03/28/2017 - 08:06
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Dr. Betty,

I am 21 years old and have never really had a true orgasm. I fear I won't be able to. I discovered I could pleasure myself at an extremely young age. I use to masterbate by lying on my stomach with both my hands in a 'V' like shape on either side of my vagina and hump up and down. I'm worried I have ruined my clit due to improper and unlubricated masturbation.

I Feel & Think Too Much to Orgasm with a Partner

Tue, 03/21/2017 - 07:01
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I've had this on my mind as of late and I'm going to try to put these feelings into words as simple as possible.

I'm 23 year Aspie old woman who has had both relationship and non-relationship penetrative sex - and I disliked both. I was in a one-year relationship with a wonderful guy I lost my virginity to and the sex was kinda unsatisfying. We were both inexperienced so it makes sense that the sex wasn't spectacular. He even had a difficult time staying hard and ejaculating. Eventually I grew tired and decided to clock out of the relationship, despite the fact that I still care for him. During that time, I started talking to another guy at school, who was the total opposite of my BF. He was much more sexually experienced but the sex itself was so painful.

Am I Asexual?

Thu, 03/16/2017 - 08:50
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Dr. Betty,

I don't know whether I'm asexual or what's up with me. I'm a 24 year old girl. I can watch porn, get turned on and rub my clit until I orgasm, but whenever I've tried sexual things with someone else I just don't get turned on, if anything their bodily fluids (cum, saliva) disgust me and no amount of foreplay can get me wet

I fantasise about doing stuff with guys (and sometimes girls) and find them aesthetically pleasing to look at in images, but the real life thing doesn't do anything for me

What's up with me?

Thank you

J

Dear J,

If you are OK without a sex partner then stay single As long as you are masturbating and enjoying orgasms you are not considered asexual. Instead you are a selfsexual which is a valid lifestyle. Enjoy!

Has Humping Furniture Damaged My Clitoris?

Tue, 03/14/2017 - 08:10
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Dr Betty!

I am 18 years old and worried about the damage I may have done to my vagina. I discovered I could pleasure myself at 3 years old, by rubbing my clitoris against a sofa arm, and now regularly masterbate using the corner of a wooden desk. I am aware that this is really unhealthy as it is such a harsh movement, and I am worried that I have desensitised my clitoris or damaged it. Furthermore, as I tend to rub on one side, one of my labia majora has become much larger and more stretched than the other, giving my vulva a lopsided look (although I know vulva's come in all shapes and sizes I feel like mine is not normal as my masterbation has unnaturally stretched it).

How Do I Have a Happy Sex Life When I Get Depressed?

Thu, 03/09/2017 - 08:43
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty, first of all I want to say thank you for your work on this site here. It have been interesting coming in here and read about several topics around female masturbation and sex life.

But I was wondering with many people struggling some sort of mental illness like depression and loneliness (the list go on). And how these things do effect sex life and masturbation. It's just a topic I haven't read so much about.

I personally don't use any anti-depresant medicines, but these feelings and moods can really have bad effect on my life (including my masturbation obviously).

What Can I Say When Criticized for Casual Sex & Multiple Partners?

Sun, 02/26/2017 - 14:15
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello! Thanks for your time.

I don't know how to respond to people about this. I know the insult isn't justified, but I do like sleeping with multiple guys. People say I put myself at risk too much. Not just about STDs but also for pregnancy. The funny thing, is that I risk being preggo much less often than lots of ppl in relationships do! Like if I hookup a few times a month vs most people who have sex with their partner at least a few times a week.

They say it's different though, since they know each other if a baby happens. But I feel like the overall consequence is the same. Plus I usually take less risk, I'm on BC, use condoms, and usually ask him to pullout even with a condom on. I know plenty of couples that just solely rely on the pill.

Need Help Explaining to BF How to Touch My Clitoris?

Wed, 02/22/2017 - 08:38
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I have been masturbating since a very young child, and thanks to you have progressed from rubbing up against surfaces to touching myself with porn to now preferring my own fantasies with some coconut oil and penetration - these orgasms I have on my own are great! I am 19 years old and am in my first serious relationship. My boyfriend and I have been having sex for 2 months now, and so far has been a good experience.

How Do I Transition From the Barbell to Full Penetration?

Fri, 02/17/2017 - 15:44
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I am a 33 old woman who began her masturbation journey after turning thirty. Thanks to the information available on your website, your inspiring books and youtube channel with Carlin, I think I have made steady progress and can now enjoy orgasms using clitoral stimulation alone. I am also able to slowly slide Betty's Barbell in and out of my vagina during the process without any apprehension or discomfort and though it does feel nice when the larger blob makes contact with the vaginal entry point, it is pretty uneventful once the barbell is almost completely inside me.

Is that normal? What does one have to do to enhance pleasure using the barbell?

Dealing with Extreme Vaginal Pain & My Clitoris Feels Dead

Wed, 02/08/2017 - 09:07
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi betty or Carlin or just anyone who could help,

I'm suffering!!!

I wrote you before when I first got diagnosed with my vaginal prolapse. and I just wanted to say thank you for the help, but im still so alone and lost. and that wasnt even part of my stupid problems it was just a bump on my horribly paved road. more and more problems keep stacking up and Im in pain and suffering to the point where I dont want to even know what to do. I just feel destroyed and broken. I could really just use some kind of help.

Thinking of Labiaplasty for My Large Dark Labia

Thu, 02/02/2017 - 09:18
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Dr. Betty,

I'll tell u my story but first my problem is I have dark labia majora and black very large redundant labia minora P.S. I'm a virgin arabic girl engaged and get married in july. It rubs in the panties and I have to put them inside using my fingers everytime I pee or change my panties they look disgusting and very ugly.  I consulted 4 different drs 3 women 2 in usa both of them recommended labiaplasty and 2 in my arabic country. 1 of them recommended surgery and one silenced after examining me for a minute and then said get married have sex first and see if u satisfied or not. He told me these surgeries aren't recommended to virgins because it may cause mutilations or being cold sexually afterwards.what is ur opinion ?

Is My Hymen Still Intact After Tampons?

Mon, 01/30/2017 - 08:40
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello Betty,

So I am trying to find out if my hymen is still intact I took some pictures but I am still unsure, as I can't see the opening but I can feel it, I stopped using tampons and have not had sex however when I try to spread the minora labia especially going down to the perineum it feels like am pulling or stretching something and I feel kind of sore after wards even with my legs wide open.Thank you for your time your feedback is well anticipated and appreciated.

P.S Tampons did hurt the first two times and they did hurt a little less every other time especially taking them out could you advise me please.

Dear R,

I Want to be Slutty But My Vagina Won't Let Me

Tue, 01/24/2017 - 08:57
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello!

First of all I would like to preface my question with an enormous thanks to you and Carlin for all the passion, knowledge and dedication you put into your work. To have a resource of this immeasurable quality is invaluable to me and I hope that your message will continue to spread!

I am writing because I value your opinion most of all and am unsure of how to proceed. Forgive me for all the details but I want to be comprehensive.

I am a 22-year-old female. I have been self-sexual since the first onset of puberty at 10 or 11 years old.

The Best Use of Your Vibrator

Mon, 01/23/2017 - 07:53
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Teaching is about repetition so here I go again saying the same thing once more with different words. There seems to be no “common sense” when it comes to women’s orgasms because most of us demand instant success the American way…add hot water and stir. Or we are naturally angry for not being taught how to experience sexual pleasure in the first place while our male partners ejaculate every time. It’s no wonder you’re mad, confused and wondering “What wrong with me?”