Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

 0 items

• Login
• Join

Search this site:

Y'know? Words fail me. What more can I say?

One of the boys is quoted as saying: "My life is over. No one will want me now." Gee, that sounds like what the female rape victim might be saying to herself!  How dare these young men throw a pity party for themselves!  The news reporters' comments are simply disgusting.  Of course I am preaching to the choir on this website.  Wish the rest of the public could realize how shameful this is.

CNN is always disgusting, the channel that considers the fascist group the Minutemen a quotable source.

That said, Yahoo had a very good article after the verdict, which surprised me. The author detailed the culture in Steubenville, a place where teenagers drive around all night and drink. Maybe the readers of this comment thinks that's normal, but it's not quite normal where I live in rural America. And it wasn't normal in Ohio when I grew up there. I don't want to see these young men demonized just as I don't want to see the victim demonized; they are children reflecting the TRUTH of the culture they live in, a culture where there is endless respect for money, power and celebrity, even the celebrity of being a high school football player, and no respect for human beings and their frailties, who by these standards should just be available for exploitation.

Richmond's father said in court that he is responsible for his son's behavior because he was not there for him, not there to guide and parent him. And I don't think it's accidental that it was an African-American man saying this.

 
I was also completely disgusted by what CNN reported and how they characterised the rapists.   But it was my husband who brought up a point about the small town football culture that suprised me.  He pointed out that highschool football stars typically have little future post highschool anyway, and that CNN was full of it.  They are genearlly unprepared for college, unless they are talented enough to squeak by on a football scholarship.  Many drop out of college, or join the millitary, where once again they are in a permissive environment to continue with abusing female soldiers and feel completely entitled to their poor behavior, and protected by military supervisors.  There is real problem here (rape culture), and as a parent of both a son and daughters, we have to start with ensuring our own children repsect each other and understand what consensual sex is all about. 

It just so happened that Candy Crowley was speaking at the college in my town last night as part of a series for the journalism department. I went to it, along with many other friends and fellow outraged community members. During the main even, nothing was brought up about this case. All questions were about her following the presidential debates and what not. When it came time for audience questions there were only a handful. Two of these questions were about this case and she was very dismissive and in one case did not answer the question at all. It was disgusting. The question I speak of was asked by a friend of mine- she asked how Candy, as a media person can help rape victims be empowered, and how can we raise awareness of rape culture with young people. (This is not her exact words.) Candy pretty much said that when she has talked to victims they feel empowered because the are standing up for themselves. With part two, she pretty much said that well, you will go to jail because wrong is wrong. If you ask me, and many of the people there, these answers were unaccaptable. Like I said before, only 2 questions about this case were asked before they were suddenly out of time to take any more questions even though I think they only took maybe 5 questions total. I had one that I wanted to ask but didn't get a chance to. My question not just for Candy, but for all of our mainstream media is this- This case has been an opportunity for the media to address issues of bullying, peer pressure, sexuality (slut) shaming, and rape culture that surrounds young people in this country. Why is this not being addressed?
I feel that instead, our media is just debating who is a victim and who isn't, the controversy of that whole twisted town, and the glamour of the courtroom.
I also feel that the parents, teachers, coaches, and othe mentors should be held responsible. In a very small way, these boys are victims too- because no one ever taught them respect for others, or themselves. They have been taught to have this sense of entitlement and I really hope the adults invoved in all of these young people's lives feel guilty, because they are.

I agree with everything you say and I, too, would like the media to address, in one simple word, the violence of our culture. But they will never do so. Our culture was founded on violence, is steeped in violence, and is in love with violence. We yak about school bullying then have endless TV shows where people are paid to bully other people. We talk about peer pressure, but our society is one of mindless conformity. How can we think we can live in an aggressive, militaristic nation and yet have fairness and decency in our everyday lives? Militarism equals rape and pillage; there has never been a kind and gentle militaristic society. We are constantly taught, through endless mediums, that vulnerable people exist to be exploited and assaulted. See, for instance, The Biggest Loser.

This case and the subsequent reporting and reactions to it have been appalling. Victim-blaming is alive and kicking, it's no wonder so few people feel able to report rape to the police.

Take a look at what some delightful folk in twitterland had to say about the verdict (trigger warning): http://publicshaming.tumblr.com/

A part of me died when I read those tweets. Horrifying. Truly vile - and misguided - attitudes. Alcohol (clothing/flirting/walking alone/a million and one other things) doesn't cause rape, rapists do. What is wrong with these people?? How can we educate them? The ones who can be educated. Some, unfortunately, are clearly just out and out misogynists (quote, "ya way to go these 2 guys lives are ruined...her vag would have been fine". I have no words).

I can't believe people deny any kind of rape culture exists. It's right there in black and white, it's in victim-blaming, it's in rape 'jokes', it's in the violent photos with rape captions on Facebook that the company deems completely fine, it's in the low conviction rates, it's in the lenient sentences handed to rapists.

I'm sick of this.