It’s been more than a month since the last Bodysex and I hadn’t been able to write. It’s been happening so much in my head and my feelings that it took me all this time to settle.
Every day I wake up more disappointed that the last day. Living in the US right now, surrounded by all the political changes, being not only a Woman, but a Mexican Woman, makes me scared to what’s going to happen to my gender, to my people. Not only Mexicans or immigrants living in the US will be affected, my country depends so much on US economy and politics (consequence of a terrible government) that right now everything feels to be collapsing and I’m afraid.
Dear Betty and Carlin
Two weeks ago I ran my third Bodysex Workshop in Mexico City and it was just amazing. This was a difficult workshop to prepare. Two weeks before the date I was still considering canceling it. I felt frustrated. My feelings were that pleasure is not a priority. Culturally, sexuality is so focused in the superficial, quick results, porn like desires, romantic love lies; sexuality as a way to grasp on to a partner, or just to cum and feel les anxious; a power mechanism.
I wanted to share with you my thoughts about leading my first Bodysex workshop. Excuse the grammar please. So much is lost in translation. There's still a lot to learn and I'm adding a full chapter about this experience in the thesis because there's a lot to say about the process before, during and after the workshop.
My home still smells like incense, jasmine and coconut. The walls are impregnated from the energy of 10 women that with all their strength and courage walked through the door and undressed their body and soul. The diversity of bodies, skins, shapes and colors was just a reflection of the diversity of stories and experiences that held the circle . Stories and experiences that, as women, we all share.
I’d been preparing for this for a long time...this bodysex workshop meant everything to me. It was the culmination of the first chapter of my new, pleasurable, satisfying and erotic life.
When I was deciding what to wear to the workshop, it was just so ironic because I was about to spend the whole day in a room full of naked women. I was so nervous, so insecure about my body, about the hair on it, about the cellulite. I knew there was going to be a genital show and tell and I was so scared that my pussy wasn't at her best. I didn't groom her enough, etc.