Ask Doctor Betty

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Is Being Self Sexual a Legitimate & "Okay" Way To Be?

Mon, 05/16/2016 - 07:36
Submitted by Betty Dodson

I LOVE your YouTube videos!

I'm 47 years old and you answer all the questions no one else ever did - thank you! My question is this, as I get older I much, much prefer to be "selfsexual" - meaning I no longer want or feel I need a partner. I don't consider it just masturbation however as I feel it is my "sexual-preference" to NOT be with another person. In fact, truthfully, I never enjoyed having a partner. I am realizing I was probably always selfsexual. I would love to get your opinion and insight on this.

Is being selfsexual a legitimate and "okay" way to be?

Dear K,

Boyfriend Can' Feel It When I Perform Oral on Him

Mon, 05/09/2016 - 08:16
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for two years now. In past relationships I have performed oral sex with success. I love to do it because of the reaction I get while doing it. It turns me on more. With my boyfriend, I have attempted oral sex on him, but he says each time, "I can't feel that". It frustrates me because I know i know what I'm doing, and am trying really hard not to take it personally.

At the Age of 87 I'm Still Having Orgasms

Fri, 05/06/2016 - 15:22
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Way back in 1972, I hammered out an opening sentence for my first and last article for Ms. Magazine. “Masturbation has been part of my life since the age of five. It saw me through childhood, puberty; romantic loves, marriage and it will happily see me through old age.” That same sentence also introduced my first self-published book that actually established my future; Liberating Masturbation: a Meditation on Selflove.

Feel Ashamed & Worthless Because of My Small Penis Size

Wed, 05/04/2016 - 08:37
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hey Dr. Betty,

Ever since I was around 12 I grew up being shamed, humiliated and talked down to for having a small dick. Sounds stupid but from always being told I'm worthless and pathetic from a very impressionable age it made me really devalue myself a lot growing up and feel ashamed of my body. I felt like nothing but a freak deep down after a few years. I would even hear the females in my family laughing about how a grown man with a small penis is not really a man and is funny as hell. I was too embarrassed to ever talk to anyone about it.

Is My Clitoris Damaged from Leaning on Furniture?

Fri, 04/29/2016 - 07:09
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

Hello! I am 23 and am concerned about my vaginal health. Since I was a little girl, and really before I can even remember, I realized that grinding on corners of furniture felt good. I did it for as long as I can remember- before I even realized what I was doing. Once I realized that I was indeed masturbating, I continued to do so in this fashion because it felt good and I could climax with all my clothes on in less than a minute.

My Vagina is Dry Even When I Masturbate

Mon, 04/11/2016 - 07:28
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello!

I am a17 year old super virgin. I've never made out w a guy or even done anything sexually w one either. However, I do masturbate. I don't think I've ever had an orgasm but I also don't masturbate often. Recently I've been having trouble w the lubrication of my vagina. I never had a problem w getting or staying wet before ever.

Now I've noticed that my vagina is much more dryer than usual and I cannot stay wet when I masturbate. I did a bit of research but I am still baffled and conceded. I think it may be because I was on an acne medication called acutane for about over 6 months. I'm worried that if I do get w a guy I won't be able to get wet or stay wet.

I have no clue what's going on. Do you have any idea or suggestions? Anything would be helpful. Thanks :)

Did Labiaplasty Damage My Clitoris?

Fri, 04/08/2016 - 08:12
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I am writing because I have found your advice to other women with similar queries to be of great comfort, and feel that you may be able to help me with this problem.

I grew up in a household where both my mother and sister were incredibly body conscious, obsessed with their weight and appearance. At around eleven, I realised my vagina didn't look like the "pornstar" vagina idealised by the boys I went to school with. I suffered from depression for many years and then decided at the age of twenty to have a labiaplasty. I went to a surgeon recommended by my GP and the surgery went well - no scarring, pain or infections. Although there were no complications, I wish I had found a website like yours sooner as I don't think I would have gone through with it.

Whenever I Do a Pelvic Exam My Patients Apologize

Thu, 04/07/2016 - 08:02
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello Dr. Betty,

I am a relatively new female physician, and I am writing to ask for some advice when providing gynaecological care for patients.

Specifically, my colleagues and I have noticed that whenever we need to perform any sort of pelvic exam, female patients almost always apologize. This usually takes the form of apologizing for their lack of shaving or waxing, any perceived abnormal anatomy, or many times women are just apologetic or ashamed in general. Interestingly, none of us have ever had a male patient apologize when performing a genital exam. Sometimes, I think that women are more worried about what they think their physician/nurse thinks about about "how they look," than the actual pelvic exam itself.

I Can't Bring Her to Orgasm Anymore

Fri, 04/01/2016 - 07:35
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dr. Betty,

First and foremost, hello. I am a new member on your site. I am in dire need of help. My problem is, I am in a long (international) distance relationship and my girlfriend is having problems achieving an orgasm. Of course, I have no problems getting mine. But the thing is, I would like to please her more and I don't enjoy it when she doesn't achieve an orgasm and I do. I'll admit at times I get worked up rather quickly and she loves long foreplay. Even with the addition of long foreplay she still doesn't orgasm. We don't get to see one another a lot because our relationship is an international one. We have a 16 month old child together and I know a child can run a person ragged.

What's the Difference Between Sexual Attraction & Objectification?

Sat, 03/26/2016 - 14:41
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Betty,

You're a feminist who is also very pro-sexual expression, so I'd like to get your opinion on this. What do you think is the difference between sexual attraction and objectification? Is there a difference? Personally, I think the lines are blurry as in my opinion all attraction is objectification to some degree.

B

Dear B,

Yes, Semantics is a bitch. While defining our individual meaning of words is important, it's also nearly impossible, I would agree with your observation that attraction and objectification are close to being the same thing. It could also be called "personal taste" in that we all have our favorite foods, colors, art, body types, etc.