Ask Doctor Betty

I am 19 years old and have been having sex with my boyfriend for a little over one year now. I have yet to have an orgasm. I bought a vibrator thinking it would be an easy fix, as my mom told me it would be, but most of the time, I don't seem to have a reaction with the sensations. I am on birth control and I have heard that the pill can affect the clitoris and make it substantially less sensitive.

Dear Betty,

I am a 20 year old woman who feels very apathetic towards sex and masturbation in general. I didn't masturbate as a child. I never "discovered" my clitoris, nor did I ever play with it. It was something I just didn't think about doing. Even today I am hardly sexual. I have brought myself to orgasm, and it was purely exploratory on my part. I didn't enjoy, nor did I dislike the experience.

Hey!! I know it's always the same,..and i think i already know the answer for my specific problem. But maybe you know a better one. I get no orgasm, even if my friend licks the pussy..it feels good and then it feels like im close. but doesnt work. the problem is, when i masturbate, its only possible to get an orgasm in a very strange position. I close my legs and brace them and then i stimulate the clit. But how can i free myself from this ONE position...

Much of the time i hate being a female because it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to orgasm through sex. Why did God make it so difficult for women to orgasm and so easy for men to orgasm through sexual intercourse? I would want to engage in sex with him if it was more pleasurable for me. I think most women would agree.

Sex with my boyfriend is amazing. Matter of fact, its so amazing that I want to have multiple orgasms, but after I have that first one things start to get uncomfortable. I need a long break in between orgasms (like 20 minutes). Only once have I been able to orgasm twice during sex and it was just recently. Im starting to think that I am weird. Is there anything that I can do to have multiples? And if so, what?

Hi Betty and Carlin,

My boyfriend is uncircumsized and occasionally when we have sex, his foreskin bleeds -- it seems like it tears when he penetrates me. The first time it happened it was really scary and upsetting to me; there was a LOT of blood. STDs are not an issue for us, but sex causing him pain is a major issue.

My husband has stopped kissing me intimately.No french kisses , no neck kisses. He has never given me a clear answer as to why he has stopped. We have an ok sex life, but, this No kissing stage has me concerned. It has been going on for years now ! Need help !

Is it possible that a clit can be too short? Mine is never externally visible, even when I'm aroused... Also, I can masturbate to sort of a mild orgasm in the shower, using the full force of my showerhead's jets, but I've never been able to masturbate to orgasm using a vibrator or just my hands-- they just don't provide enough stimulation. This leads me to think that my clit's just too short to make it out of me enough to to be able to receive any stimulation.

Hi,
I am 21 and I've just met a guy (20, but very mature for his age) and we both really like each other. We haven't gone as far as saying that we are in a relationship, cause it's to early for that, really. But we seem to trust each other very much. We've figured out why our first times together haven't been as good as we both hoped for. And though he did cum, he found it a little boring, as well as I did. We found out that we were just both being shy and not playing around enough. My problem is that I have never had an orgasm during intercourse.

Hey Betty,

Well I'm 19 have had sex a couple of times and can't orgasm. I have been masturbating ever since I was a little girl but haven't orgasmed. Am I doing something wrong? I used to think that I masturbated for a couple of minutes and that lengthening the session would help. This didn't though. Should I invest in a vibrator?