Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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Dear Betty,

I am a bisexual woman in a long term relationship with another woman. Recently, we had a threesome with a male friend, which for both of us was the first time having sex with a male. My lady and I have used sex toys, and achieved penetration in other ways, so I guess it surprised me a little when I bled after having intercourse with the male. When I hear talk of the hymen, it's described as being along the lower edge of the vaginal opening, but I think my bleeding is coming from the upper area. We have done this twice now, and while I bled less the second time, I still did. It continues lightly for a day or so afterwards. The male does have a penis on the larger side, which I am sure is a factor. I guess I am wondering - is there any bleeding resulting from sex that I SHOULD be worried about?

Dear Betty and Carlin,

Love the site, think it is a great educational tool with practical advice and straightforward information - thank you! This is not so much as an ask Betty, but an answer Betty. I am writing as a past sufferer of frequent urinary tract infections after sex - i have noticed there have been some letters to you on this subject and that the only recourse many know has been going down the antibiotic route, which of course then leads to other problems, such as thrush which doesnt help your sex life either, like being caught in a catch 22 situation! You mentioned in one of your replies that if anyone knew of anything to help to let you know.

Hi Betty,

i'm a 44 year old woman and a smoker. i was on the pill from my late teens through my early 30s. since then i've used condoms for birth control. i'm not interested in having children ever.

i'm at a point though that i don't want to use condoms any longer (one partner) and i asked my doctor about my options. she suggested the non-hormonal IUD. my doctor says its safe and effective; the side effect would be heavier periods for the first month or two until my body adjusted. she said my biggest risk is possible disease, etc. from my partner but in my specific situation that's not a worry. what are your thoughts? i haven't thought about IUDs since 1980 and there certainly was a stigma about them at that point.

Hi!

I guess my question is more body image-related than anything. Whenever my boyfriend (of ~11 months) tries to go down on me, I get really uncomfortable and sort of push him away. I love him and I know he just wants to please me, but there's a part of me that thinks he doesn't really enjoy it. I probably sound crazy saying that! I like to think that I'm pretty comfortable with my body (I masturbate frequently & love my physique), but I don't want to put him off by being too hairy/strange-looking/what-have-you. I just don't want to change myself, even for him, but the thing is, he offers to do it.