Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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i discovered masturbation at a very early age. i can't recall the first time, but i know i did it from a very young age. i'm not sure when the guilt kicked in, but i can't really recall a time i didn't feel guilty. i'm in my 30's now, but ever since i can remember i've had an issue around feeling intensely guilty and almost disgusted with myself after reaching orgasm, particularly after a masturbation orgasm. i've read a lot of literature on getting comfortable with my body, and that fantasies are fine and nothing to be ashamed of, but this seems to be a pretty deeply entrenched and wired issue that i'm finding very challenging to move past. it's got to a point where even if i feel aroused, i'd sometimes rather not masturbate, because i don't want to deal with the feelings of guilt and disapproval that follow.

Dr. Betty,

Hi, I have a problem...I'm 47 and a lesbian with what seems to be an abnormally high sex drive...I haven't met another woman yet who comes close to wanting it as much as I do. It's gotten to the point that I truly think maybe there's something wrong with me becasue every relationship I have, my partner NEVER wants it half as much as I do. I can masturbate for hours and even then it only just takes the "edge" off. Is it possible that maybe I have too much testosterone in my system?? Every other woman I know can take or leave sex and I want it all the time and therefore stay perpetually frustrated all the time.

I am 27 years old, never had an orgasm. I'm married 5 years with 2 kids. Just recently, frustrated with myself and with what I am missing, made it my number 1 priority over the next 5 weeks to work on learning how to have an orgasm through masturbation. I read your articles, plus a few books, and began working with the Magic Wand.

Dear Betty,

Several years ago you helped my wife and me get our sex lives back on track, THANK YOU! At age 66, we're having some of the best sex of our lives! :)

The problem now is my emerging bisexuality. As I read somewhere, "I think of myself as bisexual in a purely hedonistic sense - I don't want to 'date' a guy, or 'make love' to another man, but I sure would like to share sexual pleasure with the right man." And that's me, I think. All my life I've enjoyed looking at pictures and videos of erect cocks, and of guys masturbating. I figure I can't be the only one, because in most of the porn I've ever seen, they have the guy withdraw at the end to show his ejaculation, often in exquisite detail, up close and in slow-motion! :)