Ask Doctor Betty

Dear Betty

I'm 18 and am very open sexually. I can talk to my boyfriend about anything sexual and anything I want he'll do, so I know this isn't a matter of me being inhibited or him unenthusiastic. I can easily make myself cum through clit stimulation but I absolutely can not cum through intercourse alone, under any circumstances (trust me I've tried!) I can have great sex for 2 hours, and nothing.

I'm a 65 year old woman with "earthquake" orgasms but I'm very unhappy.  I met this man more than 1½ years ago. It was wonderful, just wonderful and I'm still in love with him BUT he's married and has been married for years and years. At first, it was OK for me because he told me his wife has depression, she can't stand sex with him, and it's ok if he has sex with somebody else.

I AM THE SOMEBODY ELSE!

Hi Betty.

I know you must get so many emails similar to this, but I could really use your help. I love giving oral sex to my partners and nothing turns me on more. However, the thought of a man going down on ME and reciprocating just fills me with dread.

I find that whenever a man begins to head down south, I tense up and have to look away because I feel so embarrassed and ashamed.

Hey Betty,

Well I'm 19 have had sex a couple of times and can't orgasm. I have been masturbating ever since I was a little girl but haven't orgasmed. Am I doing something wrong? I used to think that I masturbated for a couple of minutes and that lengthening the session would help. This didn't though. Should I invest in a vibrator? I've looked at your First time Orgasm page and have tried it but it wasn't successful for me. I've asked my friends about it and most of them orgasm really easily. Where am I going wrong?

Betty,

I'm at a loss here. I'm 26 years old, over-educated and therefore fairly developed intellectually, but I'm scared out of my mind when it comes to love and sex. I'm quite comfortable with my own orgasms, but only by myself. I'm attractive, I have great, supportive friends from many backgrounds and orientations, I have the goofiest and most loving sense of humor, and I'm "well informed" and joyfully articulate when it comes to sex.

Hi Betty!

I am 20 years old and I just started masturbating about 4 months ago. I was always kind of nervous to look at myself or touch myself, but I tried it for the first time about 4 months ago. I usually give it like, 2 minutes with my hand...or 5-10 minutes with a vibrator and it does feel good, but I don't have the big orgasm that I'm waiting for. My libido is extremely low, I'm never in the mood, I just do it when I'm bored and I usually try to hurry up and get to the orgasm part but it never happens.

Hi Betty,

I'm writing because I am worried about the size and development of my vulva. My clit, when fully aroused, is smaller than an apple seed and my inner labia are so minisucule that they barely rise above the surrounding tissue. I was anorexic from about 12-16, and then from 16-23 heavily abused alcohol and drugs. I am have been clean and sober for about 2 years now and just had my first orgasm about 6 months ago. I am wondering if my past behavior could have pemanently stunted my sex organs or if this size is normal.

I realize you are mostly a womans advise page, but I admire your work and was hoping you could shed some light on a very confusing issue. I cannot seem to find answers elsewhere. I am a middle aged man in a 20 yr marriage. My wife is the only women I have ever been with. For the last several years I have been expereincing ejaculation (premature?) without much if any orgasm. I just come but have none of the "intense feelings" I used to have just seems to sort of dribble out. Anorgasm??