Ask Doctor Betty

I am 27 years old, never had an orgasm. I'm married 5 years with 2 kids. Just recently, frustrated with myself and with what I am missing, made it my number 1 priority over the next 5 weeks to work on learning how to have an orgasm through masturbation. I read your articles, plus a few books, and began working with the Magic Wand. Here's what happened. The first time- I felt nothing for about 10 minutes, but I persisted when I normaly would have stopped, and after a while I began feeling pressure and some sensual feelings. I tried rocking my hips and squeezing my thighs, all the while pressing down on my clitoris hard with the wand on Low. I felt extremely strong pressure like I needed to pee- and then a liquid came out all over the bed, which I guess was urine. This scared me so I stopped.

Dear Betty. I have once in my live had an orgasm while having sex. but after a lot of sexual and physical abuse I never had it again. Im married now and my husband has tried everything. When he uses his hand and rub my clitoris I do get a feeling but not that don't stop, go on forever, mind-blowing feeling. And my clitoris hurts aswell after trying for almost a half an hour to just get something! i've also gone for a papsmeer to make sure nothing physically is wrong. how can I get an orgasm again while having sex with my husband?

Dear Betty,

Several years ago you helped my wife and me get our sex lives back on track, THANK YOU! At age 66, we're having some of the best sex of our lives! :)

The problem now is my emerging bisexuality. As I read somewhere, "I think of myself as bisexual in a purely hedonistic sense - I don't want to 'date' a guy, or 'make love' to another man, but I sure would like to share sexual pleasure with the right man." And that's me, I think. All my life I've enjoyed looking at pictures and videos of erect cocks, and of guys masturbating. I figure I can't be the only one, because in most of the porn I've ever seen, they have the guy withdraw at the end to show his ejaculation, often in exquisite detail, up close and in slow-motion! :)

Hi Betty,

My question is actually for a friend of mine (I know that sounds lame, but it's true). She experiences pain from intercourse because her vaginal skin (outside labia, actually) tears easily, like several paper cuts. She's tried different soaps (or none at all) and tried different creams and steroids. Have you heard of this before? And if so, what can you suggest?

Dr. Betty-

I wasn't brought up in an overly religious household, or made to go to church, or told that anything sexual was wrong. I masturbate almost every night and have wonderful fantasies constatnly when I'm not occupied with something else. But I am a virgin still, and I'm starting to think there might be something wrong with that.

I'm 21 years old and have been masturbating for a number of years but have never been able to orgasm - no matter what I do or how long I do it for. I do have a boyfriend and have already explained to him that the big O doesn't seem to happen for me. However, I think he's beginning to feel disheartened that after a number of months with him I haven't had an orgasm.

I've been in a relationship for 4 years and I still haven't had my first orgasm. I've been faking it for all this time. How do I tell my partner and how do I get my first orgasm?

hey doctor Betty,

I am a 15 year old male and i masturbate once every 2-3 days. however, i am having problems orgasming using the method of finger and thumb going up and down the penis until ejaculation. could you help me with better ways of orgasming? i cannot use vibrators because my parents look into my room every so often. Please could you help me?

When my girlfriend is giving me oral sex, she likes to place the pad of her thumb between my testicles and anus. If she feels me throbb and knows I'm about to cum, she'll push hard with her thumb there and squeeze the base of my penis with her other hand (index finger and thumb). She does this so I don't ejaculate into her mouth. Is it safe for her to do this to me? Where does the cum backwash go?

I am a 24 and have a low sex drive. Their have been times when it feels like I don't have one at all. I have anxiety problems and have been on medications for it in the past, but my sex drive has still not returned. I was wondering if you had any suggestions for ways in which I could increase it naturally?