Ask Doctor Betty

Hi Betty,

My boyfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship, so we haven't seen each other since New Year's and we won't see each other until early March. The months leading up to my return to the US, I noticed a gradual build-up of a sort of tickling feeling when I peed, which grew a bit uncomfortable. Around Christmas, it developed into a full-blown UTI--extremely painful, peeing blood, horrible stomachaches and nausea. I was prescribed a heavy dose of Levaquin and sent on my way. It cleared up quickly, and I took care to drink cranberry juice twice a day and take acidophilus. My boyfriend came to visit on New Year's, and since I was feeling okay, we had sex. The next day the stomachache returned, and the UTI was back.

Dear Doctor Betty,

My boyfriend takes a VERY long time to orgasm, and often goes soft before he can finish, resulting in him having no orgasm at all. He has admitted that taking a long time has always been a problem for him, and we can often end up having sex for an hour or two, often without him even managing to orgasm at the end. As you can imagine, during these lengthy sessions I get rather sore with the friction (even with lubrication) and it puts me off having sex with him, because I just know that we're going to be there for hours and I won't be able to sit down afterwards... we can never just have a quickie!

Hi!

I was diagnosed about a year ago with herpes simplex 2 virus! I recently started dating someone who knows i have herpes and during our first time together decided not to wear a condom and to perform oral sex without a Dental dam. I have only had that first initial outbreak and nothing ever since, what are his chances of contracting the virus even if i had no signs of an outbreak? Is it safe to keep having unprotected sex?

Dear Betty,

I'm a 20-year old Pre-Ministry student at a private liberal arts college, and I've been a fan of yours for a long time. I started masturbating at the age of eight, but have never had an orgasm. Five months ago, I started going out with my first boyfriend, Jake, 24. He's absolutely wonderful to me. Though we haven't had penis-in-vagina intercourse, we're sexually active. For us, that means manual stimulation, and sometimes (when I can get over my self-consciousness), it means him giving me oral sex. Sometimes, it involves masturbating in front of the other. We've tried penetrative activity (his finger into my vagina) twice, but it was difficult for me for reasons that I will explain later, and I think we're going to hold off on trying that again for a while.

Is the size/ shape of a woman's labia genetically linked? i.e. If a woman has large Labia does that mean her mom/ sister's are likely to have the same? Do things like sexual intercoarse, masturbation, Child berth contribute to "Large" labia?

Dear Betty,

I've been a fan of yours for a long time, thanks for your work. I have a sex problem that seems very uncommon to me and I don't know what to do. I've written other places for advice, even getting a response from Susie Bright on Jezebel.com, but her advice wasn't helpful and I felt hurt since she basically made fun of my partner and me.

I've been with my guy for almost one year. My boyfriend doesn't like to have intercourse. I'm not really sure why, when I ask him he says he's never really enjoyed it.

Hello I have been reading though the blogs on your site for about 2 weeks now and FOUND some GREAT INFORMATION that I would never have read anywhere else in my life. So I have to say THANK YOU for posting all this Educational articles about SEX and Life. I thought I was bad or wrong to enjoy masturbation I thought I was broken like most women because I could not achieve orgasm though intercourse. I feel like I have been liberated.

I'm 44 a scorpio who loves sex. But I am very tense when I start having sex with a new man. I wanted to start a casual relationship with a 51 year old man. We have a common friend, and had been chatting and flirting for a while. Finally I agreed to have dinner at his house, knowing very well what it would lead to. The first kiss is always my first impression if this might go in a good direction or not. And he kisses fine. I must say, I hadn't had sex since March 97. Some very bad sex for a one night stand made me decide I'd rather not have sex than bad sex again. Yes it was that bad! I had a car accident soon after with whiplash and a brain concussion a neck hernia about a year later and then 6 months later a DVT.

Dear Betty and Carlin,

Thank you so much for your site, and for all that you do. Although I've not been able to find anything here on your website or on YouTube I suspect you must have dealt with this issue before. I have a wonderful, very sweet, elegant Golden Retriever, Duke. I used to have another Golden Retriever by the same name when I was about 8. One night my original Duke surprised me with his oral attentions when I was getting out of the bathtub. It was delicious... and one thing led to another.

Dear Betty--

I have a question I'm hoping you can answer. I have always been a heterosexual male, but I have also always been curious about what the sexual experience is like for a woman. Obviously, some acts are identical--manual stimulation, oral sex, and (passive) anal intercourse are available to both. However, vaginal intercourse is not. So one must be contented with anal intercourse.

My question is this: Is anal intercourse sufficiently similar in sensation and experience, that one could say one has experienced what (vaginal) sexual intercourse is like from a woman's point of view? If so, I would be interested in trying it.